Tessa Castree

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Double Chocolate

‘No? What?’ asked Brian.

‘They reckon he had a relationship with a patient at his last hospital.’ Janine looked down at her plate of macaroni cheese and broccoli while she spoke.

‘What happened?’ Brian asked.

‘Dunno, but I heard he’s for the chop. They just found out, the woman he had the relationship with told the hospital. Everyone’s talking about it.

‘Brian, today I freaked out when you said you’d been out with him and he bought you stuff. It seemed wrong and reminded me of . . . well, anyway.’ Janine paused and her eyes half closed for a moment. ‘Then I heard this thing about him.’

Brian felt weird inside. Dr Roberts was a good bloke, wasn’t he?

‘Janine, I don’t know what to think. My judgment is all fucked up. These drugs stop me from seeing and thinking straight.’

Janine put down her fork and looked over at Brian.

‘You’ve lost your danger radar, while mine is overactive!’ She leaned over and touched his arm. If he wasn’t so chemically flattened he would probably cry. He looked at her and was grateful that she was here with him and his muddled mind and emotions.

The next day the door to Dr Roberts’ office was wide open. Brian looked in as he walked past. Janine was right; nothing there except a computer and telephone. His thoughts were so confused. He needed to find Janine but she wasn’t in the TV room, kitchen, artroom. Nine o’clock; she’d be lining up for her medication which was what he should be doing.

As he approached the dispensary, he could see her there with the others. Her face lit up when she turned her head and saw him walking towards her. Something good stirred in Brian’s stomach, a glimmer of emotion. A feeling he recognised from the past.

‘I’m not going to swallow my pills today,’ he whispered in her ear.

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