FAY CAMERON
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On Being Sophie’s Father
She’s all focused attention as she goes through each step again and the tractor inches forward. ‘I’m moving!’ She grins.
I allow myself the smallest of smiles. ‘Okay, okay, take it easy, stay in first gear for now, nothing fancy.’ The tractor moves smoothly down the drive. Sophie has her head up, watching where she’s going and I walk beside her until, after forty metres or so, it’s time to stop. ‘All right, then brake, engage the clutch, and come to a halt.’
Sophie looks down at her feet.
‘Keep your eye on where you’re going.’
‘I am. I am.’ She glances up and then looks back at her feet. ‘It’s hard to tell which is the right pedal.’
‘The clutch is on your left, the accelerator on the right and the middle pedals are for the brakes.’
‘You don’t have to shout!’
I wasn’t but there’s no point arguing. ‘Sorry.’
The tractor comes to a standstill with the engine running and I sag against the wheel. Before my heart has stopped thudding she asks, ‘Can I do it again, Dad?’
‘Always a good idea to know when to stop, Soph. Pack it in for now, we’ll have another lesson tomorrow.’
‘Ohh.’
‘Come on, do as I say.’
‘Why don’t you show me how to turn around and then I’ll drive back. You always say practice makes perfect.’
‘Where did you learn cheek like that?’
She grins again and I’m done for. She drives back good as gold till we’re near the shed. ‘Okay, better stop now.’ She keeps going. ‘Stop the tractor, Sophie.’
‘I’m trying.’
‘Hit the brake, engage the clutch.’
‘Which one’s the brake?’ She looks down at her feet, again.
‘Sophie, brake!’ The garage is right next to the implement shed and the closed roller doors loom up at us. ‘You’re going to hit the garage.’ I break into a jog. ‘Not the accelerator, the brake!’
‘I’m trying, nothing’s happening.’
Plenty’s happening, including the scream of the engine as she floors the accelerator.
‘Sophie, jump off.’ She looks up, looks down, and the tractor lurches into the garage door. A loud bang bounces around the yard followed by a shocked hush. Sophie stays sitting upright, staring straight ahead, like she’s blanked out. My chest is tight and my hands shake as I reach over to the key and turn the engine off. ‘You okay?’
‘How did that happen?’
I sigh. ‘You gave it too much throttle when you should have braked.’
‘I didn’t mean to.’ She jumps to the ground. ‘Do you think the tractor will be okay?’
I check it and the garage door. ‘Tractor looks fine but the door’s come off second best. Just lucky it’s not you.’
‘Imagine what Mum’ll say.’
‘Oh blimmin heck . . .’ We look at each other, eyes wide.
Sophie giggles.
I hug her and we both laugh – the kind where you have to hold your sides together, the sort that makes you feel better after a narrow escape.
‘Aren’t you mad at me?’ Sophie asks when she has her breath back.
‘Mad? Nuh. Not at you.’ I shake my head. ‘We know what your mother’s like, though. What say we keep it a secret – just between the two of us, eh?’
The sky goes dark and the air smells wet and sharp and then there’s a brilliant flash of light, the smell of sulphur and electricity and a crack followed by a roll of thunder that rumbles on and on. ‘That was close!’ The rain starts, large, slow, heavy drops that’ll turn to a deluge. I grab Sophie’s arm, ‘Come on! Run for it. We’re gonna get soaked.’
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