
My first visit to Raro will be her  last.
    One hour out of Fiji she forgets
    wants to get off the plane thinks  it’s the train
  to Paraparaumu Beach. 
We land with my knees shaky 
    to a Numanga song  and ukulele,
    soon we wear an ‘ei each round our necks
    get a coach to Sunrise Bay Motel and  presto we’re in,
    in Ngatangiia,  at midnight. 
    The manager greets us with 40 proof  breath, 
    a cigarette bounces with every word 
    pushed from red painted lips. 
Mum coughs all night, 
    wrong medication they say
    when we get back in a fortnight.
    Next day her lower legs her feet  swell
    she can hardly walk.
We sit out the front. It’s lovely. 
    This place is like Rarotonga she  says.
    Her back aches from the new bed.
    She doesn’t complain  
    just lets me know.
    I find a gravestone outside the 
    front door with the name Akaiti  Crummer. 
  Mum,  Annie Crummer 
  have  you heard of her? She… 
They  were teachers, she interrupts, 
      from a  village along the road.
      George,  he was European looking and Tom
      he was  very dark. They were this 
    and they were that. 
I read some Eliot for my brain while  she rifles through her 
    jewellery again and again and again.
    I hire a car for five hundred down,  we need it now 
    to get around as the rain arrives,  falls 
    on stray dogs and potholed drives.
    We cruise in the wet past Titikaveka to Wigmores 
    for supplies, get a flat on the way back. 
    Mum sits looking cool, I get out and  swear. 
    A young boy pushing a bike stops,  watches my demise 
    from tidy dress to soaking mess.
Tapping on the car window 
      flat  tyre, I lip sync twice.
    She pulls a face, Oohh! How did that happen?
    I read her lips through the watery  glass
    and shrug. It pours down.
By the time we’re back it’s  clearing, warm, steamy. 
    On a verandah some guy sitting, 
    watching his wife do the cleaning. 
    He knows of mum. He watches 
    her slow walk to the cabin.
    He was mates of her adopted brother  Tutai.
    Small island. 
Inside, Mum smiles, that was nice we  can go home now. 
    Yes after a snooze. Ok?
    She frowns, pokes her tongue at the  tablets 
    takes the cup of water
    then lies on the bed.
    Soon it’s quiet.
Two geckos eyeball each other on the  ceiling. 
    They approach like strangers at a  dance.
    Maybe they’ll fight to the death!
    Mum coughs. 
    I dry off to the sound of the  rolling sea 
    and her deep sleep breathing.