Return to Faye McIlroy

Roles

Faye McIlroy

 

Frigging hell! Why is there only ever one?
_
‘Maddy! Where’s your other sock?’
_
‘What?’ Maddy strained her neck to see me from the sofa.
_
I made the effort to speak slowly and clearly. ‘Where did you put your other sock? There’s only one sock in your bag. Did you leave the other one at daycare?’
_
‘What, mummy?’ Maddy’s face was pained with the effort of trying to understand my gabbling.
_
‘Nothing. Forget it.’
_
Why did I even bother asking – of course she didn’t remember where she’d put her sock; she didn’t know where the toilet was half the time. The time… shit – three o’clock already!
_
‘Maddy, get your shoes on, we have to get Olly from school.’
_
‘What, mummy?’ Again the pained expression – annoyance now from having her screen time interrupted.
_
‘You: shoes, car, now.’
_
Maddy slipped off the sofa and reluctantly picked up her shoes.
_
I scooped the laundry powder out of the box and dumped it onto the dirty clothes, slamming the lid down and depressing the start button. Then I grabbed my phone, bag, keys and Maddy’s shoes and together we darted out the door.
_
Everything except Maddy was thrown onto the driver seat before I strapped her in. Everything was then scooped back up and dumped again on the front passenger seat so that I could get in.
_
Keys?
_
On the floor.
_
Sunglasses?
_
On the kitchen bench where I’d put them after carrying the shopping in. No time to go back and get them.
_
Bugger… forgot to buy wet wipes.
_
I turned the engine over and reversed out of the driveway.
_
Did I put the washing machine on?
_
Yes.
_
‘Mummy?’
_
‘Yes darling?’ My phone started ringing.
_
‘I want Momo.’
_
‘I don’t have Momo but I’ll bet I’ve got something else…’ I began foraging in my bag for something edible and placed my hand on a packet of cashews. I opened them carefully and the moment I turned around to give them to Maddy the car behind me tooted.
_
I waved an apology and turned back to see a green light and lane clear of traffic. By the time I got to the front however, the light had proceeded to amber. I considered flooring it but decided not to. I glanced at the driver behind me in my rear view mirror and saw her muttering.
_
The phone stopped ringing.
_
I caught sight of Maddy making monster sounds as she ate and thought how utterly beautiful she was.
_
I breathed deeply and felt the space between my eyebrows melt.
_
I picked the phone up out of curiosity to see who had called but saw it was an unknown number. It wasn’t important – they hadn’t left a message. I put it back down and pulled away as soon as the light was green.
_
When I got to school, Olly was standing by the gates with his friend Fletcher. The two of them were focused on something small that Olly was holding. I tooted the horn and watched as he threw it carelessly into the gutter. My phone beeped to notify me of a new text.
_
It was impossible to stop because of all the traffic around me so when I caught Olly’s attention I pointed frantically at the bus stop.
_
Olly and Fletcher ran towards the car with their backpacks thumping them both.
_
Pulling in, I noticed the billboard was displaying an ad for the company I’d worked for in my previous life. A life much less stressful. No, that wasn’t strictly true – there had always been plenty of time constraints there too but it was much less reactionary; people waited weeks for work from me, project outcomes that would affect large groups of people I didn’t know but who were nonetheless significant. Work that affected the company’s profit and therefore, in a small way, the national economy. Now the decisions I made rarely affected more than four people, and two of those were minors. Everything I did now, as a stay-at-home mum, was relatively trivial, domestic and of very little consequence to the world. I had diminished powers of authority, yet arguably greater responsibility. And I no longer received either payment or perks, discounting the kisses.
_
Olly flung the door open wide and threw his pack on the floor. ‘Can Fletcher come home for tea?’
_
Fletcher was already climbing into the back seat. A bus was bearing down on me from behind.
_
‘Yes get in,’ I yelled. The bus tooted aggressively and I veered back into the traffic, forcing Olly’s door to swing open. Luckily he had the strength to pull it shut before it hit something or forced him out.
_
The boys smartly put their seatbelts on.
_
‘Text your mother please Fletcher. Olly can you take those cashews off Maddy before she makes herself sick.’
_
Later, after making the boys beans on toast and reheating an abandoned cup of tea, I sat down on the floor with Maddy to help her with a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle. Immediately the phone started ringing. I didn’t get to it in time to answer but I saw who it was from. I also read the text I’d received: from Laura.
_
I returned my husband’s call: ‘Hey.’
_
‘Hey. How’s it going?’
_
‘Ok. Olly’s got a friend over. You?’
_
‘Good. Slow day.’
_
‘Hmm. I was just about to play with Maddy. I was meant to be going out with Laura for dinner tonight.’
_
‘Oh yeah, right. Well I’ll be home normal time. When do you need to leave?’
_
‘I don’t think I’ll go actually.’
_
‘Why not? You’ll have fun.’
_
‘No I won’t, I’ll be bored.’
_
‘You’re always bored,’ he said but there was mirth in his tone.
_
‘Yeah but I’d rather be bored at home. With you and the kids. I’ll make lasagne.’
_
‘Ok, if that’s what you want.’
_
I paused to retrieve the sock hanging out the back of Maddy’s trousers. ‘Yeah, it is.’

 

Back to contents page

Permanent link to this article: https://4thfloorjournal.co.nz/past-issues/4th-floor-2016/contents-2016/faye-mcilroy/roles/